Earn Money

This is a lyric from Kanye West’s song Good Life that immediately came to my mind.For me, money isn’t everything, but I know how it can make life shitty without it. I remember living in a homeless shelter. I would walk past stores and see people buying food. I could only look at the food. I didn’t have the money to afford to eat. It completely sucked being in that situation.Now, I have money in my pocket. I can eat at any place that I choose. I recently went to a smoothie shop. I ordered a smoothie and vegan chocolate chip cookie. It felt great being able to waste almost $8 bucks on these items and tip $1.Later on, I went to a southern cuisine restaurant that is buzzing on social media due to the fact it’s owned by a famous person from a reality show. I ate their fried chicken meal with macaroni and cheese, collard greens, and Kandi yams. I only drank water. The meal ended up costing $20 bucks and $4 for the tip.In both instances, it felt absolutely wonderful being able to have money. I didn’t have to be the person looking at other people consuming food and wondering exactly how it tasted. Money gave me access to solving this riddle.Money is simply a tool that can open doors. It keeps my smartphone on. It allows me to purchase a seat on the bus to go to Nashville next month. It buys my shoes, deodorant, dish washing soap, lotion, toothpaste, medication, U.S. Passport, Atlanta Dream season tickets, and so many other necessary and not so necessary items.I’ve tried to use money to replace love and friendship. I discovered that it cannot make someone love you or care about you. It won’t prevent you from feeling loneliness. Spending money on prostitutes only lead to emptiness for me. There’s nothing better than being with someone that you don’t have to pay to be in your life. I’m not just talking about sex workers. I’m applying that to family and friends. You want people in your life that love and appreciate you for you. You don’t want them in your life simply for your things.I know what it feels like to live with and without money. I learned that living with money makes your life easier. You don’t worry as much about how you are going to pay for something. If you need it, you simply go and get it. I remember when I would lose money in my pockets and find it weeks later.In fact, I lost a $20 bill in my pocket. I happened to be at the gas station when I discovered it. The gas station attendant looked at me and said, “You didn’t even know you had that money in your pocket. I can tell by the way you were puzzled to see it. You must lose money and forget about it all of the time. I wish I had that problem.” I could only smile and agree with him. I made $700 per week after taxes. I was a single guy without a care in the world.I also know what it feels like to live without money. I had to learn how to adapt to my circumstances in the men’s shelter. I quickly began to talk to the men and find out what they did to eat. I discovered many places that fed homeless people for free. In addition, on the weekends, I would work in the shelter’s kitchen and eat really well. I learned how to get around Atlanta on the transportation system. I discovered how to keep my clothes clean. I still have these skills.I am bipolar. I sometimes experience extreme mania and extreme depression. In addition, this is often coupled with anxiety, panic attacks, self hatred, self love, and grandiose opinions of myself. I lack control over these mood swings. There isn’t any amount of money that would take this mental health condition away from me. If I could buy it away, I would. However, I know that isn’t a reality.I would love to have a close relationship with my family. Unfortunately, I do not believe that my family wants to understand me. They simply want me to be what they want me to be. I will never meet their expectations. But family is definitely more than money. If you have it, hold on to it and cherish it.I’ve never been the type of person to have true friends in real life. I have plenty of associates, but I’ve never had close friendships with people. I have family members that have really awesome friendships with people from high school and university. I don’t have this in my life. I definitely know friendship is way more important than money.